Comfort in Times of Uncertainty

One year ago this week, Stacey and I faced the biggest trial that we’ve ever had to face. This was only 3 weeks after an extreme high point in our lives. Our second child, Spencer, was born. We were getting settled in for the evening when Stacey called me in a panic from the other room. She said that she thought Spencer was having trouble breathing. I took him from her and also noticed that his breathing was very shallow. We tried taking his clothes off, blowing in his face, and moving his arms and legs around to get him to breath normally. After a couple of minutes, he started losing his color. At that point we called 911. The next few minutes was somewhat of a blur. We called my parents to come get Connor. Shortly thereafter, our house was full with strangers check on my sweet baby. All I could do is pray to myself. I think I might have even changed my Facebook status and tweeted “Please pray.”

A few minutes passed and his breathing improved. The medics thought he was ok and gave us the option of driving him to the hospital ourselves. That gave me a little assurance that he was OK so we opted to take him ourselves. (of course I may not have complied with all traffic laws on the way).

When we walked into the Children’s Hospital ER, the nurse took us into a room where there were 6 people waiting on Spencer. At this point I was in a whirlwind of emotions… confusion, fear, worry, uncertain. The ER team began working frantically on him gathering blood work, hooking up monitors, and even performing a spinal tap to gather spinal fluid. Through all of this Spencer seemed to be doing a little better but Children’s wanted to observe him for 48 hrs.

Spencer was placed into the Children’s Hospital Special Care Unit. This unit specializes in children needing constant nurses’ attention. Each nurse has a maximum of 2 patients. It was an open floor plan with no rooms for the patients. They also had very odd visiting hours, 4 hrs open and 2 hrs closed for visitors. This was probably that hardest part of the entire ordeal. We had to leave our 3 week old baby for two hours at a time.

After a few hours of monitoring, Spencer’s blood oxygen levels decreased to a point that he was given oxygen. My little buddy looked pitiful. We then braced ourselves for a couple of days waiting for test results to return. We would sleep in a waiting room in between visits to see Spencer. The waiting room was shared with the burn unit. There is so much I could say about that experience alone but will leave that for another day. Test after test kept coming back negative but Spencer’s condition kept getting worse little by little. It was to the point were he was pretty much not breathing on his own. To make matters worse, we were required to where gowns, gloves and masks while holding him. (at least we were allowed to do that)

While at the hospital I remember several times going into the restroom so I could break down and cry for a minute. I would then gather myself together. I would then go back to Stacey, trying to be strong, and attempt comfort her. If it wasn’t for Facebook and texts that many of you sent, I’m not sure I could have made it through. I knew that God had Spencer’s life in control and that the Holy Spirit was comforting me. But it helped to know that there were others out there holding me up in prayer.

After a couple of days, the doctor came around and told us that Spencer had enteroviral meningitis. She seemed very relieved. She said that Spencer would recover completely and have no issues due to this sickness. We just had to wait for his immune system to fight off the virus. We were in the hospital for a total of five days. Our parents kept Connor the entire time. Of course we didn’t want Connor to come to the hospital. We feared that it would make matters worse on him and us. I will never forget getting home and how Connor he wasn’t really excited to see Stacey and I. But then he saw Spencer and asked to hold him. Connor, 3 years old at the time, held Spencer close, hugged him and literally began crying. Stacey and I both cried as we saw those tears of joy on that toddlers cheeks. (Is that what Jesus feels when one of His own goes home for eternity?)

I typed all of this out without a true point in mind but wanted to give God all of the glory and praise. All I know is that having a personal relationship with my God helped me to make it through these troubling times. I read Psalm 23 many times during those days. It had never really hit home with me until then. That even though I walk through tough times, God comforts me and carries me through. Wow, that seems simple doesn’t it?

Day 110- After practice ice-cream